My Big Why

Updated: Feb 1, 2020

I will never forget the day I walked in to my first yoga class in my new hometown. I was depressed, broken and looking for anything to help me get back to feeling even just a little bit normal. See, the months that had led me to walk through those unfamiliar doors were dark and super lonely. I had been estranged by my father, lost a good friend that I called a sister, and went through a massive move across the country.

Something had to change, but for the better this time.

I spoke with my husband about a local yoga class and how it might be good for me. I had taken yoga before, but it was always for the workout or the fun girl time. This time, I knew it was going to be for me, my attitude and a way to basically save my life.

I braved leaving my new home, the space that had become my safe zone, and left to drive approximately 30 seconds down the road to our local library where the yoga class was to be held. I sat in my car for what seemed like an eternity before actually breathing my way to the door.

Once my mat was set up, I felt much better. I settled, looked around and realized I was likely the youngest one in the room. No big deal, but I was curious why the universe had steered me to this particular class.

Nonetheless, my first class was heaven sent. My heart had an immediate change. I felt lighter. My instructor made me feel safe. The women in the room actually helped me smile. Or, maybe it was a smirk. Either way, the wrinkles turned the other way.

So, every Thursday, I showed up. It literally was the only thing I showed up for outside of my home. My kids and husband kept me full of love inside my home, and I had serious drive to continue homeschooling my kids, so that was reason enough to wake up. But, showing up for something outside of my comfort zone was tough. I continued to show up for yoga. I needed it to heal me. To change me.

And it did.

About 9 months or so, after taking this class consistently, my instructor approached me, offering me a discounted spot to learn how to become a yoga instructor. Her offer was more to help me deepen my practice as she was well aware I was there to find myself and to heal.

It was funny, because not many days prior, I had decided to become certified in Energy Work. Another outlet for me to heal deep wounds. A way to learn more about my personal gifts (more on this in another blog post). I had been taking these courses and learning so much about healing Chakras and become a Lightworker. It never dawned on me that maybe yoga was going to be part of this path as well.

I took her up on the offer and signed up for the yoga instructor course. Before the class sessions happened, I had one more yoga class with the women I had been practicing with for nearly a year. And a thought came to me that practically knocked me over. These women were god-sent too! I was the youngest because I needed to be surrounded by wise women. I needed a circle of women to listen to their stories, hear their heartaches and experiences. I used them to compare my own wounds, finding their wise ways as examples of how to heal myself.

Life was starting to not feel so dark and lonely. In fact, things were much brighter. I had found my why.

Soon after my epiphany, I became certified in basic yoga instruction. I began offering community based classes and the rest is now history. I was also certified as an energy healing practitioner and Reiki healer. Somewhere along the way, I connected my personal gifts with the teachings of these amazing services and created a foundation for my why to be offered to the world.

My why is this...I NEVER want anyone to suffer the way my heart has. Life is full of yuck, but there is absolutely no reason we cannot find help and safety in others'. Loneliness is not acceptable. Feeling dark and heavy is too hard on our physical body and can wreak havoc on our spiritual body. My why is to save those around me from even an ounce of their pain by offering a safe place, safe hands and safe ears.

My why is to heal, help, love and let in Light. My why is to grow consciousness so that we may all be better versions of ourselves tomorrow.

My why is YOU.

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